do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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