This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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