Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
