dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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