so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
