we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
