i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
