I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
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It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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