Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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