I'm jealous of your bromance
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
