Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
