3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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