so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize