I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
