why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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