Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize