I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Randomize
