Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
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Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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