Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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