After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize