chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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