I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
