idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
