is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
he shaved USA in his pubs
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
