I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
