i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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