i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
