MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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