For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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