I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
