Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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