Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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