I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
