i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
this just has baby written all over it
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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