There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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