and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
