Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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