the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
either way he was missing a nipple.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
