Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
