Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize