It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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