WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
