THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
