Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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