DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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