I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
