He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
