That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
