Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
