just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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