Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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