On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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