How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
