you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
