Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
A+ Viking dick
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
