Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
