I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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