it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
