Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
