it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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