well you can't waste a boner
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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