your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
