Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
