i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
