nutella sex= disaster
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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