I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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