dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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